Where the Outrageous Things Are
by Mr History 94
Summary: Welcome to my attempt at making Robot Chicken sketches. This series is quite hilarious with their parodies and stuff. I will try to go to where Seth and his team haven't.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

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**Chapter 1: The Gay Pride of the Leaf **

In the Village Hidden in the Leaves, everything is normal….well until we hear Naruto shouting out loud as usual. He and all of his friends are going on a mission.

Naruto: Alright! We're all gonna find Sasuke and convince him to stop his mad bid for power! Isn't that great, guys?

Kiba: Yeah, except for the only ones who are too obsessed with Sasuke is Sakura, Ino and you!

Naruto: What!? Who ever said of me being too obsessed with him!? We were only friends back then! I just miss him, that's all!

Kiba: Riiiiiigggghhhht

Shino: Is it just my sunglasses or are your cheeks reddening, Naruto?

Naruto: Just shut up!

Sakura suddenly punches both Naruto and Kiba much to their pain.

Sakura: Why must you two act like a couple of idiots!?

Naruto: Was hitting us really that necessary, Sakura?

Ino: I swear Sakura, you seriously have mental problems! On another note, what kind of nurse would've punched her own patients?

Sakura: I have never done something like that! What about you, who has sex in order to support her own business. That's really helpful!

Ino: God how difficult you are!

Kakashi: Breaking news, everyone! The ANBU Black Ops have confirmed that Sasuke and his new teammates are hiding somewhere in the Village.

Everyone's surprised at this announcement.

Chouji: But how are we gonna find them, Kakashi-sensei? The Leaf Village is huge! Besides I'm hungry now.

Shikamaru: For crying out loud, Chouji! You've just ate like….5 hamburgers at McDonald's before now! How in the world can you still be hungry?!

Chouji: What's your problem!? I just want to live, that's all!

Shikamaru: Yeah, but eating till your ass gets fattened up isn't…..oh shit!

Chouji punches Shikamaru, much to everyone's shock. He suddenly turns around and points his butt at him. He delivers a few slaps at it.

Chouji: My ass is not fat! It's attractive as a male counterpart to Kim Kardishian's ass!

Everyone couldn't help but to nearly throw up on the ground, given what the chubby boy just said.

Kakashi: As I said earlier, Sasuke and his associates are hiding somewhere in the village. I am certain they use disguises somehow. What was it again…..a Mehican or….anyway, they must be found! You may begin your search!

Sakura: But what about you, Kakashi-sensei? Won't you be joining us?

Kakashi: Eh…I can't….I have an important mission along with Iruka…so….OH MY GOD IS THAT SON GOKU FLYING UP THERE?

Everyone looks up to the sky to see if what Kakashi says is true. He suddenly vanishes from the scene. Naruto and his gang suddenly notice that the jounin is gone.

Sakura: Where did he go?

Naruto: What a jackass! This is probably the nineteenth time he leaves us so he can do something he wants!

Lee: So what are we waiting for? Let's find Sasuke! Who knows what trouble he might cause?

In another district of the village, Sasuke and his gang are wandering around dressed as Mexicans. Every villager stares at them with confusion.

Karin: These freaks keep staring at us for no reason! It pisses me off!

Suigetsu: For no reason, you say? They are staring at us because we are dressed like…..Mexicans!

Jugo: I think these outfits are not particularly appropriate to use in eastern cultures, especially those who use lame toilet humour to please themselves, right Sasuke? Uhhh….Sasuke?

Sasuke is standing on the top of a building scouting the village.

Sasuke: Naruto…..I am coming for you…we had "good times" together.

He thinks about his previous experience with Naruto, especially with the kissing accident and all the journeys they've been on together that were merely lame filler arcs.

Sasuke: After all this….you are finally mine!

Back to Naruto and his gang.

Naruto: Man, no sight of him yet. This village sure is big!

Sai: Right! You mean as big as your hairy balls and penis-shaft?

Naruto: What the hell is wrong with you, Sai!? Why do you always speak about my penis and stuff!?

Lee: Maybe it's because he likes you, Naruto! You sure attract a lot of males, not just women

Naruto: Shut up, Bushy Brows! You don't know anything about me!

Sai: Lee has a point, Naruto. You do seem hot sometimes, like when we spend together in the hot springs. I have never seen such a fine penis before.

Hinata: W-What!? S-Sai likes Naruto!? B-But I h-have fee….

Neji: Don't even say it, Hinata! There's absolutely no way in hell you're gonna get laid with him!

Tenten: Stop being so harsh, Neji! Hinata has a right to choose…

Neji: Was I talking to you, "Miss I Have a Fetish for Shoving Weapons up my Ass"?

Tenten: You're freaking sick, Neji! No wonder why anyone doesn't find you attractive.

Lee: But I find Neji attractive!

Everyone stares at him outraged. Lee gets confused.

Lee: What?

Suddenly Sasuke and his gang appear before Naruto and his gang. This spark fear and shock among everyone.

Ino: Look, its Sasuke!

Shikamaru: And he has brought with him a group of freeloaders! Man what a drag, I hate freeloaders!

Suigetsu: Did that homo with the ponytail just call us freeloaders!? Let's kick that queer's ass!

Chouji: Don't speak to Shikamaru like that! He is my friend and blood brother!

Shikamaru: Uhhhh….why are you holding my hand, Chouji?

Suigetsu: Oh great, another one? This village of yours is crawling with homos, Sasuke!

Tenten: What's with the homophobic language!?

Kiba: Eh duh! Both Shikamaru and Chouji wear earrings and they claim to be showering together during missions. Didn't you notice that!?

Tenten: Ehhhhhh…..

Naruto: Sasuke…it's you…..stop this madness, already

Sasuke: Naruto…..give me one reason why I should not destroy the village.

Sakura: Of course you shouldn't, Sasuke! Don't you know…..

Sasuke: I didn't ask for your opinion! This is between me and him! And for the last time, I don't love you!

Sakura: B-But w-why?

Sasuke: Are you seriously retarded? I consider you to be annoying and I almost tried to kill you yet you still have feelings for me? I would rather bang Ino if I was to choose between her and you!

Sakura: Ino? But you can't do that! We're on the same team!

Ino: Sasuke….you naughty bastard!

Kiba: Frankly, I don't get why girls are attracted to you at all! I mean, just look at you, Sasuke. You're a wannabe Vegeta and Hiei who always whines about getting stronger. Hell, you even waste energy on beating Naruto!

Sasuke: What the f**k did you just say!? Why do people compare me to them!? We have nothing in common!

Shino: Yeah, you have nothing in common with them, because you act like an emo who is sexually orientated towards men!

Sakura: That was not a nice thing to say, Shino!

Karin: No one ridicules my Sasuke and…

Suigetsu: Don't give us more of that bullshit! Sasuke is not attracted to neither of you!

Juugo: I swear this fan-girl effect has completely ruined our series, not to mention the fillers of course.

Out from nowhere, Orochimaru suddenly appears before them. Orochimaru smirks at Sasuke.

Orochimaru: Hey there Sasuke….remember me?

Everyone stares at him widened. It is clear that he is indeed familiar. He is also a well-known person.

Orochimaru: I just came back from the grave after being so rudely defeated by you.

Lee: Is that…..is that what I think it is?

Kiba: No way!

Naruto: It's…..Michael Jackson! How can he suddenly be resurrected?

Orochimaru takes that as an insult and begins to be depressed. He sits on the ground. The others get's confused at his behaviour.

Orochimaru: Why do people keep calling me Michael Jackson!? We have nothing in common! I am leaving this world. It's only filled with pain and suffering!

He runs away. Sasuke merely smirks to himself.

Sasuke: Finally he's gone! I don't understand why I joined him in the first place. He only took me to lame and childish amusement parks.

All of a sudden, Naruto steps closer to Sasuke's face. Everyone becomes shocked and wonders what the hell is going on. Is Naruto trying to embrace him?

Sasuke: Naruto….what are you…

Naruto: Shhhh….don't speak….I will do the rest

Sasuke: What do you mean by….

Suddenly Naruto presses his mouth against Sasuke's. They both kiss passionately at each other. Everyone around them stares at that widened. It also has an effect on them as well. Everyone realises their true sexual desires and where they lie.

Shikamaru: Oh Chouji….I….I just love you! I like chubby men who aren't the typical Britney Spears types.

Chouji: I admit that…..I have feelings for you as well! Let's hit the steak house, just the two of us!

Ino: Sakura….I'm sorry about all this trouble…..I love you more than Sasuke. Can we be together?

Sakura: Its okay, Ino! We both made the same mistake by chasing after that selfish emo. I think we girls deserve to have each other.

Lee: Neji….will you cross-dress for me? I want to see you in that, because you are sexier than Tyler Perry. We must bathe ourselves in the power of gay pride!

Neji: Lee…let me grab your ass in this sexy green jumpsuit of yours! I will cross-dress for you as long as we are together!

Kiba: Ummmm…what the hell's going on here?

Shino: Don't you realize it, Kiba? Now that Naruto and Sasuke have returned to each other, everyone has found their true sexual desires. It is the gay and lesbian pride that dominates our love lives! Everyone is now free to express their sexuality.

Kiba: Okay…..but I don't love you in case you didn't know.

Shino: That's fine by me. I actually don't wanna get laid with you either!

Suigetsu: You gotta be kidding me! Is this series turning out to be the first yaoi and yuri shounen manga in history?

Sai: Hey there, sexy boy! Do you want to join me by the hot springs? You can take that sword along with us. It will be a nice toy.

Suigetsu: God help me!

Naruto: When I become Hokage…..this village will be reborn as a centre of gay pride!

Sasuke: Yes! You are my Hokage! Take me ass your wife! It will be the first gay marriage in an anime and manga world!

Tenten: Uhhhh….have anyone seen Kakashi-sensei yet? Oh that's right! He left for something important. What is he doing by the way?

In a hot springs, Kakashi and Iruka are bathing in the same place. They turn up the song: You're my first, my last, my everything!

Iruka: Oh Kakashi…..you're so sexy with that mask of yours!

Kakahi: Thank you! And you are sexy with that scar across your nose.

And thus began a new era for the shinobi: the era of tolerance.

_To be continued…_

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**Author's note: This was my first attempt at a Robot Chicken sketch. Hope you enjoyed it! **

**Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Show belongs to Seth Green. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

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**Chapter 2: Avatar: The Lost Theory**

On the strange moon of Pandora, humans are mining a precious mineral so they can preserve the legacy of capitalism. But their operations are threatened by the natives of Pandora: the Na'vi. In order to interact with them, the mining operation established the Avatar Program where they could reach out to them, without getting shot, of course. But that is a great responsebility. We now see Colonel Quaritch having a discussion with the head of this program: Dr Grace Augustine.

Quaritch: Are you sure about this, Dr Augustine?

Grace: I am colonel! We have no other choice. As much as I hate to educate him on all of these things, it's either that or nothing.

Quaritch: Then we shall use this Jake Sully to infiltrate the Na'vi's community or whatever the hell you call it.

Grace: Not infiltrate, you idiot! Learn about it! You know something, colonel? You better stop acting like some kind of dirty imperialist and express more tolerance towards others! And I trust this Jake Sully is not a psycho killer like you!

Quaritch: (thinks) She is one unfu**able lardass, no kidding! She would even throw herself naked amongst those lame blue monkeys.

When the transport ship lands, most people expect to see a disabled former Marine coming out, but they are wrong. Instead, a young, brown-haired man with glasses and dressed in a green jacket comes out. He is holding a book with a unique symbol on it. He walks around with this oxygen mask every human outside buildings are required to wear. He asks a solider about a few questions.

Man: Excuse me, sir! Is this place….the headquarters of the Atlantis expedition?

Solider: No! Who are you? Are you Jake Sully?

Man: Actually, my name is Milo James Thatch and I am supposed to join this expedition to Atlantis.

Solider: You're far away from home! This is Pandora! The only thing that matches with what you're saying is the Avatar Program.

The man identified as Milo James Thatch suddenly snaps.

Milo: Avatar Program? Oh crud, have I joined the wrong expedition?!

He reaches for a paper in his jacket where it stands: "You are invited to join us on an adventure to a new world". However, he reads something which is indeed troubling for him. "Join us at the Avatar Program, where you will explore the culture of Pandora's natives". He freaks out after reading that line.

Milo: Holy freaking crap! I have joined some kind of a test subject program! C'mon Milo! Relax…..think! How in the world did I suddenly end up with this paper anyway?

A few days ago in a bar, Milo was chatting with a disabled man. His name was if he remembered correctly Jake Sully. They were both incredible drunk and could barley manage think properly. They even wiggled around their papers, where they had been invited to each of their own adventures. They both threw up and slept in the bar for the night. The next day, they each grabbed their own papers….or so they thought.

Milo: Well….that makes sense….and I'm still a little hangover from that night. Anyway, what the heck am I supposed to do!? Well…..I could at least…..see what's inside. Besides, it's not everyday a linguist like me get's access to such programs.

Milo decided to enter the station where he is immediately welcomed by members of the Avatar Program and the colonel himself.

Quaritch: So I take it you're Jake Sully, right?

Milo: Eh….yeah! I am….

Quaritch: But you can't possibly be a former Marine! I mean, you look like one of those four-eyed morons I used to beat the living crap out during high school. Ahhh I loved those times!

Milo: Uhhhh….I'm a linguist, actually.

Grace: A linguist? Does that mean you already know the Na'vi language?

Milo: Na'vi? Who's that?

Quaritch: Let's just skip to the mission, okay? Then he will probably understand what we mean! Dr Augustine, I expect you and the program to teach this rookie here about our job here!

Grace: Whatever you say…..sir

Milo is taken to the quarters of the Avatar Program, where he is introduced to his Avatar. He is very surprised by the Avatar's large height.

Milo: Am I supposed to steer this….alien cat guy?

Grace: Don't call them aliens! They are a people, just like us!

Milo: Oooookaaaaaayyyy

Norm: Since you have your twin brother's DNA, you should be able to steer it clearly.

Milo: Huh, my twin brother? Oh, of course! How could I not forget him?

Grace: This one IS really clueless. But we will give it a shot and se if he truly possesses some potential.

As Milo enters the Avatar machine, he finally get's connected to his Na'vi. He is surprised at first, considering how tall he is, but he soon get's used to his new form.

Milo: Oh my God! I can run fast and climb fast! It's incredible! But my sight is quite disturbing. I can't see clearly with these eyes.

Norm: Is that the reason why you're walking like some drunken bear?

Grace: Are you saying you need a pair of glasses for this form as well? You gotta be kidding me!

Milo: Just give me some, already! I'm about to break my nose here!

Grace: It's not even your real body, you moron!

So Milo put on some big glasses which were created randomly. As Milo walked around the Avatar are with his new glasses, other Avatar users noticed him and laughed at his appearance. Some were playing basketball others were playing football.

Avatar dude 1: Hey look! The program has allowed a Star Wars nerd into our ranks!

Milo: Ehhhhh….what?

Avatar dude 2: God I hate those freaks! This one looks like a cat-like Jar Jar Binks with blue fur and stuff.

Avatar dude 3: C'mon dudes! Let's kick that motherf**ker's ass!

Milo starts sprinting as fast as he can to run away from those troubling Na'vis. In fact, Milo accidentally managed to run out of the camp and into Pandora's wilderness. He soon found himself completely lost.

Milo: Aw man! Now I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere! How am I gonna find the way back to the camp!?

Suddenly he heard a growl coming from behind him. He turned around and saw thanator coming slowly towards him. Milo ran out of fear and the creature chased after him. He didn't have a clear idea about where he was, so he needed to dodge trees and other dangerous plants that lurked around. Unfortunately, Milo ran towards a cliff and fell from it. But he landed in water, which at least saved his Na'vi hide.

After getting up from the water, the Na'vi wandered through the jungle, hoping to find something that resembled the mining operations. But so far, he hadn't found anything, not to mention that he ran away from a dangerous beast. This irritated him.

Milo: Why did I even come to this….stinking moon!? All that exists is nothing but selfish douchebags, inhumane beasts and….

He suddenly stopped when he saw a young female Na'vi appearing before him. This surprised Milo. Apparently she was not from the camp. She was a native to Pandora.

Milo: Uhhhh…hi

But she suddenly aimed an arrow at him, much to his outrage. He managed to dodge an arrow that was coming towards him.

Milo: AHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THIS GODDAMN WORLD!

But all of this is not reality. In his bed, Milo suddenly awakes from his strange dream. He finds himself on his bed in Atlantis besides his wife Kida. He puts on his glasses and walks through and sees if this was truly a dream. It turns out, it was.

Milo: Yes! Finally! Everything about that world was in a dream! I'm back in Atlantis!

Milo breathes out a sigh of relief. Kida awakens and notices Milo standing there.

Kida: Are you okay, Milo?

Milo: Huh? Yeah….I just had the weirdest nightmare yet.

Kida: A nightmare about what?

Milo: Well….it was almost as if there existed a civilization similar to Atlantis…..except for the fact that it's people were….some kind of blue monkeys.

Kida: Maybe you should stop watching James Cameron movies for a while, Milo.

Milo: You know…..I guess you're right.

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: This was chapter 2. It was a crossover between Avatar and Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Both movies have similar plots as well as characters. Well, perhaps not the case with Milo and Jake, but you get what I'm saying. **

**Avatar belongs to 20****th**** Century Fox**

**Atlantis: The Lost Empire belongs to Disney**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

**Warning: Contains sexual themes and stuff**

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**Chapter 3: Even Thieves like Boobies**

Its midnight in the city of Paris, but not everyone is sleeping. On the rooftops, a young adult raccoon jumps from rooftop to rooftop while sneaking. He also leaps on ropes which leads him closer to his destination. The raccoon is an international-famous master thief called Sly Cooper. He has been called everything from a master thief to a gentleman, a poet and even a playboy. But first things first he is a master thief. He stands on a rooftop overlooking a well-known building. Suddenly his communicator beeps. It is the brain behind his gang's operations: a turtle named Bentley.

Sly: Okay Bentley! I'm standing a few meters from it now. Let's do this!

Bentley: But Sly, wouldn't it help to take some pictures in order to…

Sly: Screw that! This is actually a mission I will enjoy the most, so I don't wanna take more of those lame pictures.

Bently: Whatever….be careful about this, Sly! This building has a tight security. What is this building, anyway?

Sly: Just trust me, you won't be disappointed. From what I understand, there's some rich guy owning it. He must have a safe inside it somewhere.

Bentley: Okay. Normally, I should've read about this, but if what you say is true then it's fine by me and Murray. Besides, we really need that money. Those greedy socialists in this country keep raining down taxes upon us! I swear we better move to London or something!

Sly: We will think about that later, okay? But right now, make sure you and Murray are not parked in the open. I will be in touch with you guys once I'm inside. Are you with us, Murray? Murray?

Bentley suddenly notices his friend Murray munching some Dunkin' Donuts. The big hippo stops this once he sees the turtle's disapproving glance.

Murray: Sorry! I am with ya guys! Just don't screw up the infiltration, Sly!

Sly: Yeah, yeah! I get the picture big guy! Sly Cooper out!

Then the title of this Sly Cooper episode shows up: Sly Cooper and the gang in…..**Boobies + Booties = F**k Yeah!**

Sly is now on the top of the roof, but he sees a rat guard smoking not far from a door. This convinces the thief that the door is locked and that the rut must be carrying a key somehow.

Sly: I better steal the key from that so-called handsome guard over there.

Sly sneaks up behind him and snatch the key out of the rat's pocket. But he stares at him one more time. He suddenly uses his staff to assassinate the rat in silence.

Sly: I felt an urge to do that. Besides, I better learn something from those guys at Abstergo Entertainment.

The thief enters the door and begins sneaking. He eventually ends up in the buildings vent system. He crawls in order to find the right way, but it's very difficult given that the vent system is particularly big. But he suddenly stops when he sees a purple light coming from one of the vent system's many brief openings. This makes him smile gleefully.

Sly: Finally I'm there! I hope I'm not too late for this!

As Sly begins peeking from the opening, his face becomes crazy. Believe it or not, but the building Sly actually infiltrated was a strip club. He can see various women dancing close to the poles while shaking every part of their bodies to the audiences' satisfaction. Sly takes up his camera in order to get a better look at the strippers.

Sly: Oh yeah…..yeah….shake that booty!

Bentley: Sly? What's with all the loud music? If I didn't know any better then this must be a…

Both Bentley and Murray suddenly drop their jaws while seeing what Sly is currently recording. Bentley's mouth keeps drooling while Murray's eyes stares at the recording with big eyes.

Murray: Boobies! Lots of them too!

Bentley: We came all the way just to see some strippers!? You gotta be joking!

Murray: But Bentley, this is so…IRRESISTIBLE!"

Bently: But Murray we….what are you….OH MY GOD! THAT'S DISGUSTING!

Murray: Yeah…..oh yeah! Show me what you got, bitches! Make this hippo d**k grow harder.

Sly was still watching the show with gleeful eyes. He even took some pictures of the strippers. But the music suddenly stopped and the lights were lowered. The spotlight was then focused on the central pole.

Announcer: Alright guy! Prepare to witness some hot Latina and foxy action all at the same time! So please welcome this lovely cop hoe to this night!

Sly suddenly becomes crazy once he sees who that woman really is. It is none other than Interpol's top inspector: Carmelita Montoya Fox. She is one badass cop! The woman begins dancing around the pole while teasing the audience with her spectacular body. Sly's mouth begins drooling and he almost nosebleeds.

Sly: Whoa! Damn! Just look at that body! Her hips, her tits, her thighs, her ass….she is a walking sex machine! I would give anything…even the Thievius Raccoonus just to get laid with her!

Carmelita danced around and winks at every man who wants to do all kinds of things with her. They all throw Euros at the pole. She lies herself on the ground while lots of Euros keep raining upon her. Sly becomes amazed by how much money she receives.

Bentley: Sly! Look at those Euros! How about you sneak into the backstage and see if you can steal them!

Sly: Oh so now you are supportive of my idea?

Bentley: Just shut up and get those Euros!

Murray: Oh….here it comes! Ohhhhh YEAHHHH!

Bentley: AHHHHH DAMN IT, MURRAY! THE SCREEN IS COVERED BY YOUR….

Sly: Well, guess that I'm on my own now that communications are out of touch.

Sly finally finds a way out of the vent system. To his surprise, he is at the backstage. He spots Carmelita sitting on her chair while counting her Euros. She is alone and no one seems to be around, making Sly glee in amusement. He sneaks up on her, but he decides to act on his naughty desires and wait for Carmelita to stand up from her chair. Once she does that, Sly deliveries a hard slap at her right ass cheeks, making her shocked. She turns around and becomes outraged of what she sees.

Sly: Hey there, sexy! Nice performance out there!

Carmelita: Cooper! How did you find me here!?

Sly: How did I? Babe, I always knew your outstanding body would attract millions of Euros, Dollars, Reals or whatever! To be honest, you're a terrific stripper, even better than a cop!

Carmelita: Don't push your luck, smartass! This is only a part-time job! I have strived to support myself since the socialists came to power here! Interpol is currently licking the boots of them.

Sly: You know something? I have an idea! How about you and me leave France or the European Union for that matter? We can move to another country where we can still play cat and mouse!

Carmelita: Oh? I'm listening….tell me more.

Sly: I suggest we should retire our jobs and settle somewhere comfy. Maybe Singapore! After all, we can use your Euros on that…

Carmelita: Don't speak any further, you "sly" raccoon! Just follow my lead!

Sly: Uh-huh? And what is your lead?

Carmelita turns around and bends giving Sly a nice view of her behind.

Carmelita: Just watch this ass and follow it! Then we will be together!

Sly: I couldn't agree more, my little Carla Bruni!

They went to Carmelita's apartment and had some "nice" time together.

Carmelita: OH GOD YEAH, THAT FEELS SO F***ING GOOD! TAKE ME TO OUR PARADISE, YOU THIEVING SON OF A BITCH! AHHHH!

It was really satisfying for both of them. But what happened with Bentley and Murray? Well, let's take a look.

Bentley: Okay Murray! Get this piece if junk started before the cops arrive!

Murray: Yeah, yeah! But my car is NOT a piece of junk, you stupid handicap!

Bentley: Just start the engines, already!

Murray begins starting the engines, but it won't start. This makes them both frustrated.

Murray: C'mon! Start, you piece of crap! Uh-oh!

Bentley: What do you mean by uh-oh?

Murray: It looks like the diesel's empty. I forgot that we were supposed to use the Euros Sly was coming with to pay for the diesel fuel! We didn't have much money to pay for a fuel.

Bentley: Are you kidding me? But Sly is currently using the Euros for himself! Now we are stuck here because of him and you, ya big, pink turd!

Murray: We are you blaming me? I didn't expect Sly to ditch us for some cop lady with a sweet ass!

Bentley: I swear could this night get any worse?

Unfortunately, it gets worse. The police show up in front of them. The cars block them on both sides.

Bentley and Murray: Oh f**k!

_To be continued…._

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**Author's note: This was chapter 3! This was probably more sexual related than the previous two. But this was a good chapter**

**Sly Cooper belongs to Sony Computer Entertainment**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

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**Chapter 4: Britain's Got Talent: Elmer J. Fudd**

Tonight in London, a contestant coming all the way from Hollywood is a well-known figure. He always speaks like some child who can't read properly. So let's see who it is!

Ant: Hello there! What's your name?

Elmer: Hewwo! My name is Elmer J. Fudd! Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

Dec: Where are you from, Elmer?

Elmer: I've twavewwed all the way fwom the United States of Amewica to Gweat Bwitain!

Ant: Whoa! That's a long journey you have been on! What is your reason for participating on Britain's Got Talent?

Elmer: I want to become a famous singer, wike Susan Boywe! I have heard how famous she became by singing on Bwitain's Got Tawent. I wanna be just wike her!

Dec: Wow! So you are going to sing on the stage, is that it?

Elmer: That's wight! Oh boy, I can't wait to impwess the audience with my singing voice! It is almost as beautiful as the singing voice of Andwea Bocewwi!

Ant: Well, I wish you good luck then, Elmer! Be strong!

Dec: Yeah! Hopefully you will impress Simon and the others!

The stage is set and Elmer is just standing a few meters from the scene. Ant and Dec are watching was the small man walks to the front stage. They both watch with intriguing eyes. As Elmer shows up at the scene, the audience cheers. Some of them is even aware of who he is, considering that he is a celebrity from Hollywood. The three judges are Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Cheryl Cole. They all watch him with wondering and interesting faces.

Simon: Hello!

Elmer: Hewwo to you too! And hewwo evewyone!

Simon: (grimaces)…

Cheryl: What is your name?

Elmer: My name is Elmer J. Fudd. Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

Simon: Umm…where are you from?

Elmer: I'm fwom Howwywood in the United States of Amewica.

Simon: Ooookkaaay….

Piers: What kind of work do you do, Elmer?

Elmer: I'm a hunter by pwofession and usuawwy hunt wabbits.

Cheryl: What is your reason for coming this far to London?

Elmer: I have come to Wondon to impwess you with my singing!

Simon: Pardon me, Elmer! But why are you speaking like that?

Elmer: What is your pwobwem? Evewybody can understand what I'm saying!

Simon: No, I really can't understand what you are saying. Now answer my question, is that how you normally speak?

Elmer: Of course it is! I've spoken wike this since I was born.

Pier: Okay Elmer! What will you sing for us tonight?

Elmer: I'm going to sing this song: Can't Stop Woving You by Phiw Cowwins!

Cheryl: Excuse me but are you actually interpreting as Can't Stop Loving You by Phil Collins?

Elmer: That's wight! I'm about to sing that song.

Pier: Well, good luck with that, Elmer!

Simon: Oh God this will be painful to hear.

The music starts playing and Elmer prepares his microphone for his singing voice. Let's hope he does his best. The music is wonderful, yet Elmer's singing is kind of….awful.

Elmer: (sings) So you're weavin'

In the mownin'

On the earwy twain

Well I couwd say evewything's awwight

And I could pwetend and say goodbye

Got your ticket

Got your suitcase

Got your weavin' smile

Well I could say that's the way it goes

And I could pwetend that you won't know

That I was wiein'

Cause I can't stop woving you!

No I can't stop woving you

But suddenly, all three judges slam their buttons, making Elmer stop singing. Most of the audience boos at him. They didn't find his singing voice to be satisfying enough. Simon rolls his eyes in annoyance. Elmer himself stops and becomes shocked that people don't like his singing voice. He doesn't understand what is going on.

Simon: Can I be honest with you here?

Elmer: What do you mean?

Simon: You have among the most awful singing voices I have ever heard on these shows. I don't even understand how you fail to notice it yourself.

Elmer: Hey don't talk to me wike that! My pawents think my voice is wondewfull!

Pier: I agree with Simon. You sing like some baby who barley speaks properly.

Cheryl: You have the enthusiasm, but you lack the talent. That is all that I can say to you.

Simon: So unfortunately there will be three NOs from us. You are completely and utterly talentless.

While the whole audience stands there booing at him, Elmer merely stands there with sad eyes. But those eyes soon transforms into eyes of anger and hate. He takes out his gun and points it towards the entire audience including the judges.

Elmer: So you all think my singing voice is wubbish, huh!? Bawoney! I will show you my twue tawents. So I thweaten evewyone with my gun! No one, not even thwee siwwy judges can tell me what I'm faiwing at! Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

But suddenly while Elmer points his gun upwards, he accidentally pulls the trigger which results in one of the scene lights falling down towards the stupid hunter. He looks up once he notices its shadow around him.

Elmer: Howy Sh…splash

The light falls upon him and he dies as a result.

_To be continued…._

* * *

**Author's note: This was chapter 4, if some of you thought that it would've been better if he was on America's Got Talent then you are welcome to express your opinions. I just wanted to see how it would've been if Elmer actually met Simon Cowell. Hope you readers enjoyed this sketch!  
**

**That's all folks!**

**Loony Tunes belongs to Warner Bros**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

* * *

**Chapter 5: House of Mouse: The Lost Episode**

In Mickey Mouse's well-renowned clubhouse, lots of Disney's theatrical and classical characters come during nights to enjoy themselves from the cruel greedy world. But this night however, the clubhouse is visited from an unexpected character, which was first thought to be dead or committed himself suicide due to the film's low box office performance.

Outside the clubhouse, Max is responsible for readying or parking guests' cars. However, tonight he will experience something different. An old Jeep nearly hits him by driving on the sidewalk. The one driving it is technically drunk. He is an old, cantankerous and miserable man by the name of Amos Slade. He stops the engines and exits his vehicle. There is no question that he is drunk, given what he just did. Max stares at him outrageous.

Max: Just what the hell do you think you are doing!? You almost killed me back there!

Amos: Ehhhhh…..what the….BUUURRPPPP….are you sayin', kid!?

Max: Stupid old geezer! Have you seriously been drinking!?

Amos: Drinking? Me!? I never do something reckless as that! Why the f**k am I speaking to a dog, anyway? And I only thought Chief and Cooper were the only dogs who could talk. Man how messed up my life is!

He begins walking towards the entrance, much to Max's caution.

Max: Hey! Where do you think you are going!?

Once inside the foyer, Amos stumbles upon Donald Duck, who is responsible for welcoming every guest into the clubhouse. The duck stares at him confused.

Donald: Who are you? I have never seen you here before. Are you even in a Disney movie?

Amos: What the….off course I am in a Disney movie! I never get invited to attend fancy, motherf***ing nightclubs like these! Are you stupid or something!?

Donald: You sir have seriously mental issues! Get out of the clubhouse!

Amos: Screw you, feathered pea-brain! You're a duck with ADHD. No wonder why people find you less entertaining!

Donald takes a big issue with this, so he gets depressed and runs away. The drunken hunter continues to walk towards the receptionist, but he is stopped by the voice belonging to the Magic Mirror

Magic Mirror: You are one pitiful creature, Amos Slade. Your depravity sickens me.

Amos turns around and glares angrily at the Magic Mirror. He then unzips his pants and starts peeing on him, much to the Mirror's disgust. Amos lets out a large burp while doing this nasty thing.

The hunter approaches the receptionist: Dolly Duck who is responsible for making sure every guest has a place to sit. She gives Amos a weird look on her face.

Dolly: Ummm…who are you?

Amos: What….oh great, another retarded duck! I was the part time anti-hero and part time villain in that movie or whatever you call it! I was merely a hunter who enjoyed killing animals and ruining everyone's lives. How the hell don't you recognize me?

Dolly: Amos Slade? Oh my god what are you doing here?

Amos: I have come here to socialize myself with the rest of you…Disney-folks! Don't you have enough seats for me?

Dolly: I am sorry, but you are not invited and there are not any seats available for you. Besides, only the most popular and well-known characters are welcomed here in the…

Amos: Popular and well-known my asshole! I thought Disney was supposed to be a family who was open towards anyone! What has happened here!?

Suddenly, Rapunzel and Flynn approach the table in order to check themselves in. Amos stares at them widened.

Dolly: So glad you two could make it! I have a table ready for you.

Rapunzel: Oh that's great! I can't wait till the show begins! Don't you agree, Flynn?

Flynn: Yeah! I hear you babe! And not to be rude, but who is this forgotten character standing in front of us?

Amos: So now you allow the f**king CGI aka Communist Greedy Institute characters into Disney's ranks!? Now I see what it is!

Dolly: Look, sir! I must please ask you to leave or else I will call the police! Is that…

Amos continues walking, still intoxicated. Dolly decides to call the police anyway, in hopes of getting him away.

The hunter now walks around the main hall, where every guest takes their seats. Most of them stare at Amos while he walks around like an idiot. Some of them even don't know who he is. But the old hunter doesn't seem to care what everyone thinks.

Amos: Hello everybody! This is your old pal Amos Slade coming to visit you in this big….

The hunter throws up on the table belonging to Ariel and Sebastian. They become disgusted by this.

Ariel: Ewwwww! Gross!

Sebastian: What in King Triton's name is the meaning of this!? Don't you have any respect towards people around you, you lowlife peasant!?

Amos: Hey shell-head! I got a question for ya: why do you sound like some Jamaican who recently got his ass f**ked up recently?

Sebastian becomes depressed and runs away, while Ariel glares at Amos disapprovingly.

Ariel: That was not a nice thing to say! Go apologize to him!

Amos: Hah! I could care less about what you Disney Princesses and their Zionist pussies think! Characters like me have experienced way more hell than you ever have!

Ariel: Excuse me!?

Amos: See you at the sushi-bar, you redheaded bitch!

The hunter walks over to the table belonging to Gaston who is trying to flirt with Belle. The young man stares at Amos with an irritated look on his face. He rises up from his seat.

Gaston: What's the big idea, old man!? Can't you see that I'm on a date here!? Beat it, or else I will knock you down!

Unbeknownst to him, Amos puts a bear trap on his seat in secrecy. He plays cool with Gaston while taking a brief look at Belle.

Amos: I'm sorry…I will leave ya two turtledoves alone…see ya around!

With the hunter out of the way Gaston returns to his seat, only to get a bear trap on his butt.

Gaston: AHHHHHHH! MY BALLS! MY BIG HAIRY, F**KING BALLS!

This leaves his seat open for Amos to take, so he does that.

Amos: Finally he's gone! I swear I could've knocked that queer's head clean off with my bare hands.

Belle: Ummmm was that really necessary?

The old hunter climbs up at her table and pulls down his pants. He takes a dump at her dish which makes her puke on herself.

Amos: Ahhhh that's better! You deserve to have this turd as a reward for your movie's nomination for Best Picture!

But things turn ugly once the Beast approaches the table with really angry eyes. He is furious over Amos's behaviour.

Beast: Get off the table or I will kick your….

He suddenly gets a bear trap on his face, much to his agony. Amos decides to pay Mickey Mouse a visit. He passes the table belonging to well-known Disney Villains. At the table: Jafar, Ursula, Hades, Captain Hook and Cruella De Ville. They all begin to laugh once they see Amos passing by.

Hades: Well! Look who's coming to dinner! It's none other than the shabby hunter himself!

Cruella: What is he doing here!? He is nothing but a thorn in Disney's rouge gallery!

Hook: We posses far more money than him! If he is an anti-hero than why hasn't he made a name of himself?

Ursula: Who cares about him? He is not even a villain, only a grumpy man who exists to make us hate him!

Jafar: Stop wasting time one something as useless as him! Let's start our mission! We will take the shots now!

The old hunter ignores them and proceeds walking to the backstage. Once inside, he finds Mickey and the rest of his gang waiting for him.

Mickey: What's the big idea of ruining tonight's show!? You better before the cops arrive!

Amos: I finally found you, you balloon-eared twit! Now it's retribution time!

But before he can charge at them, Jafar and his gang appears at the backstage, much to everyone's shock. They have planned on taking over the clubhouse and remake it after their own image.

Jafar: Sorry to interrupt your precious evening, Mickey and co.! But we will take over this crib of yours for ourselves!

Mickey: Jafar! What trickery is this!?

Hades: Face it suckers! You're all running out of time! No one can stop us!

Ursula: We have closed all doors to this clubhouse! You are all our hostages!

Minnie: Oh no! The police won't make it inside! These villains will surely use their evil powers! How will we prevail against this!?

But all of a sudden Amos starts shooting the villains one by one. They all fall on the floor lifeless. Only Jafar is the only one still standing, but he is very injured. He begs the old hunter not to kill him as Amos approaches the wizard.

Jafar: Wait! Show mercy! I am technically Jewish, but I fully support the Palestinian cause! You gotta believe in me! I am a character from the Disney Renaissance!

Amos: Disney Renaissance my asshole! Dark Age and everyone else forgotten for the win! So long, you Zionist fu**head!

He delivers a headshot at Jafar and he his headless body lies on the floor. Mickey however is surprised by the fact that Amos would help them. He slowly approaches the hunter.

Mickey: Ya know, you really do belong here in the House of Mouse! Care for a drink?

But Amos responds by kicking his balls. He then slams Goofy and the rest of the gang with his gun.

Amos: Why should I be friends with thieving scum like you!? I would rather chat with another anti-hero type than hanging with a mouse that was probably raised by chipmunks!

Suddenly, John Silver approaches him and takes off his hat in respect.

Silver: Ah I see! You are also a forgotten villain who reforms at the end of the film! Let's get some booty!

Amos: Tell me about it! I'm with you, pal!

At the stage, Jessica Rabbit and Holli Would are dancing while making out with each other passionately. The entire audience howls at them. Their mouths start drooling. Even small children are watching it. Silver and Amos are among the audience who cheers at them.

Silver: Now that's what I call BOOTY!

Amos: Boy, you said it!

_To be continued…._

* * *

**Author's note: This was chapter 5! It was a sketch about the Disney show: House of Mouse. I was poking fun at Disney's constant monetary desires! If any of you found this offensive than please excuse me! XD**

**Characters in this chapter belongs to Disney**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green**

* * *

**Chapter 6: The Straw Hats and their biggest Adversary**

In the giant ocean, the Straw Hat crew is sailing across the Grand Line hoping looking for adventures. This man sleeping on the Thousand Sunny's head is Monkey D. Luffy. We all know his story and his dream to become the King of the Pirates. You see he ate the….

Luffy: Yeah, yeah! We get the picture already! Forget the introductions!

Ahem. As I was saying, Luffy and his friends Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, Franky and Brook are sailing across the Grand Line to find something new and exciting. We all know the enemies they have fought against. But unbeknownst to them, something sinister is waiting from the shadows.

The crew is minding their businesses as usual. But all that changes when a strange elderly man dressed like an executive appears on the ship out of nowhere.

Nami: Guys! There is someone aboard our ship!

Usopp: It's an enemy! Run from your lives!

Chopper: AHHHHHH!

Zoro and Sanji: What a bunch of idiots.

Every Straw Hat member gathers around the executive guy and confronts him. Luffy approaches him first.

Luffy: Who are you? And how come you dress like some executive?

Stranger: Ha, ha, ha! Sorry if I'm intruding here, Straw Hats! I just wanted to meet you personally.

Zoro: That doesn't answer Luffy's question!

Sanji: Yeah, tell us who the hell you are, before I deliver a kick upon your fat face!

Franky: What's with your outfit? Are you some kind of World Government official or something?

Stranger: No, no tough guy! I'm serving a power far greater than the likes of that!

Nami: What is that old man talking about? Do you understand this, Robin?

Robin: Oh no….it can't be!

Luffy: Huh? What's wrong Robin?

Sanji: If that man is intimidating you then I shall defend you from him!

Zoro: Can it, playboy! This is a serious matter here!

Sanji: Mind your own business, douchebag!

Robin feels more uncomfortable as the man rises up from his seat and eyes every crewmember. Luffy begins to sense danger from that man.

Robin: That man is….Al Khan from 4Kids Entertainment!

Every crewmember widens at her mentioning.

Usopp: What!? But didn't Al Khan retire from the company when it went into bankruptcy?

Nami: Yeah! The company got sued by TV Tokyo over the distribution rights of Yu-Gi-Oh!

Khan: Enough! Yes I did retire from business, but that didn't stop me from getting my revenge over you fart-loving mongrels!

Luffy: Revenge…..for what?

Khan angrily grabs Luffy by his collar and eyes him.

Khan: Idiot! I mean for all the harassment me and our company has suffered! I was merely doing my job to introduce Japanese culture to American audiences. But you….ruined it! Because of you, my company went through hard times!

Zoro: Doing your job? Was changing the racial skin of a character, food and music of a world-famous series your job? That sounds like some communist editing!

Chopper: Yeah! Editing sucks ass!

Brook: Isn't America supposed to be free? And here I thought that China was the strictest country in the world! Yohohohoho!

Nami: Beat it, you old commie! This isn't some homosexual Superman or Captain America series!

Luffy: The manga world doesn't possess any signs of homosexuality! Well….except for Naruto off course.

Khan: Shut up, dimwits! I don't care about the difference between comics and mangas, but I will make you and your world pay for what you did to me and my former company! So I have a present for you!

The Straw Hats prepare their fighting stances, only for Khan to use his special ability. They feel strange all of a sudden.

Luffy: What's…..happening!? My voice…

Chopper: Oh no! Franky and Brook are disappearing!

Both characters are transported out from the scene.

Sanji: What? A lollipop….MY VOICE!

Luffy: What have you done to us!?

Khan: Ha, ha, ha! I ate the Censor-Censor Fruit! As such, I can manipulate anything that I find disturbing or too violent. I will make you more suitable for younger audiences! Good luck with living the rest of your lives with that! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Straw Hats: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_Five days later, on the Grand Line_

The ship has been transformed into the Going Merry, but that's not all. Franky and Brook have disappeared from the series, leaving only seven members of the Straw Hats left. Their voices have changed as well. The background music was an awful rap song.

Luffy: AHHHHHH! Another lovely morning! How are you doing, everybody?

Zoro: For crying out loud, Luffy! Stop yelling with that terrible voice! I swear, you sound like a 16 year old homeless girl with a sore throat!

Luffy: Don't tell me what to do, Zolo!

Zoro: And stop calling me that! It's Zoro, damn it!

Nami: I'm growing sick and tired of this crap! Everyone is acting like doo-doo heads!

Zoro: And you sound like some valley girl. And why do you keep calling us that?

Nami: I don't know! I always say doo-doo for no reason! It scares me!

Luffy: Ha, ha, ha! Your voice is so weird, Nami!

Usopp: Hey! Have any of you seen my slingshot? Someone must've taken it while I slept so sweet like a child.

The trio tries to hold their laughs, much to Usopp's anger.

Usopp: Why do you crabby paddies keep laughing at my voice!? It's not that ridiculous, is it!?

Luffy: We can't help it! You sound like a leprechaun on a crack!

Zoro: This makes you just as annoying as Jar Jar Binks! Yeah that's what we'll call you! Jar Jar Usopp!

Usopp: Shut up, Zolo! You may have a more normal voice, but your name sure is absurd as your looks are!

Zoro: Why you long-nosed, son of a….

Just then, Robin walks out the door with Chopper accompanying her. Sanji flies after her with some meal in his hands.

Chopper: How are you doing everyone! I've just finished checking on Robin's condition. She's much better now.

Sanji: Wait up, Robin! How about you and me share this meal? My hearts burns for you, my sexy Texan!

Robin: I don't even know what that is! And this accent I'm speaking is nothing I have ever heard of!

Luffy: Whoa! Robin sounds like some ranch girl! I never realised it from before!

Sanji: Of course it is, you biatch! Robin's voice is sexy as hell that makes you wanna….

All of a sudden, everyone except for Nami and Robin starts laughing at Sanji's voice. They find it to be completely inappropriate for his character.

Usopp: You sound so stupid, Sanji! Are you a troll who's brain-damaged or something?

Sanji: Shut up, you stoned Pinocchio! Or else I will turn that smile of yours upside down!

Zoro: Is that supposed to be threatening? Give me a break, Sanji! That lollipop habit of yours doesn't intimidate any of us at all!

Sanji: You'll pay for that insult, Zolo!

Zoro: STOP…..F**KING CALLING ME THAT!

Sanji: I might not have a cigarette, but my voice sounds cool like a Manhattan gangster! Don't you agree, Nami?

Nami: Dream on, doo-doo head! ARRGHHH I HATE THAT WORD!

Robin: My, this is way out of hand.

Chopper: Well my new voice fits my character well. And I haven't been renamed or anything.

Luffy: Ummmm…..who are you?

Everyone stares at Luffy outrageous because he doesn't recognize Chopper.

Chopper: It's me, Luffy! Are you really that stupid!?

Nami: Well, Luffy still retains the same low intelligence!

Usopp: Can't you see that's Chopper? He's the doctor on this crew, don't sweat it!

Nami: Stop yelling so much with that voice, Usopp!

Usopp: Stay out of this, valley girl!

Nami: Don't take that tone with me, doo-doo head!

Zoro: There you go saying it again!

Luffy: What's a doo-doo head, anyway?

Chopper: But Luffy I am Chopper! See? I'm a reindeer!

Luffy: Oh it is you, Chopper! That voice of yours made me convinced that you were a goat character from Sonic the Hedgehog or something.

Chopper: I'm a reindeer, retard!

Zoro: Anyway, I hope Franky and Brook are doing okay.

_In a faraway place_

Both Franky and Brook are sitting on an isolated island while watching the waves.

Franky: So this is it, huh?

Brook: I'm afraid so….but I will soon disappear from this world!

Franky: Huh!?

Brook: Well you see….since 4Kids skipped the Laboon arc….I've technically no reason for joining the Straw Hat Pirates…..which means I won't be viewed in the series! Yohohohoho!

Franky: But where will you be sent to?

Brook: I don't know….perhaps Halloween Town! I'm actually a Japanese relative of Jack Skellington, so I'll probably end up there!

Franky: Good luck with that, pal! God luck with that!

_To be continued…._

* * *

**Author's note: That was chapter 6! This was to poke fun at the 4Kids dubbing of One Piece as well as minor elements of the series.**

**Characters belongs to Eiichiro Oda**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: This is what I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. I will try to go where Seth and his team haven't. The series was created by Seth Green.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: How to NOT Train Your Dragon**

This is Berk, where many unbelievable things happen. We all know what the story is, about some awkward geek training an overgrown reptile. But this is a different story. We venture into the forest behind Berk where we see Hiccup struggling to find his way. About an hour ago, he remarkably managed to capture a dragon. Now he will seize the opportunity to prove himself loyal to his tribe.

Hiccup: Oh come on! This forest can't be THAT big! I mean, it's just the forest BEHIND the village!.

The young boy accidentally falls on the ground thanks to the vine from a tree. But he manages to get back on his feet.

Hiccup: This is just yakcrap!

But suddenly, he notices a nearly fallen tree. This can only mean one thing: the dragon must be there!

Hiccup: Whoa! This is it! I better sneak to get a closer look.

As the young Viking sneaks closer, he becomes very surprised. You see, he has actually captured a small purple-scaled dragon with golden horns. This is none other than the video game world's most beloved dragon, Spyro. Hiccup can't believe his eyes. Spyro immediately notices Hiccup and glares at him angrily.

Spyro: Hey you! Are you that asshole who shot me down!?

Hiccup: Nooooooooooooo

Hiccup tries to lie, but Spyro keeps glaring at him.

Spyro: Cut the acting part! I can see you're lying!

Hiccup: Okay, I did it! But I thought you were a…..a fairy or something!

Spyro: Enough of your stupid lies, geek! Just cut this net and I may forgive you!

Hiccup: How do I know I can trust you? You are a dragon after all.

Spyro sighs deeply in annoyance before he eyes the boy once again.

Spyro: If you free me, I promise I won't flame you. Is that a deal?

The young boy stares at the dragon for a minute, but he eventually decides to free Spyro. So he cuts the net, but he is given a painful attack by Spyro's charge. This infuriates the young boy.

Hiccup: You jerk! Why did you do that? You said you wouldn't hurt me!

Spyro: I said I wouldn't flame you, but I never said anything about not charging at you.

Hiccup: By the way, what sort of dragon are you? I mean, you look similar to a Terrible Terror, but you're a little bit taller. And you can talk! How's that even possible!?

Spyro: What is this, a roleplaying contest? Get your gaming ass somewhere else!

The young dragon then starts walking into the forest causing Hiccup to be curious about Spyro. He really needs to find out more.

Hiccup: Well….that was….unexpected.

Back in Berk, Hiccup spots Snotlout trying to charm Astrid, but to no avail.

Snotlout: Hey there, babe! You wanna join me on a fishing trip? I feel a little lonely without that sexy, wild…

Astrid kicks his balls, but it makes him completely enamored than hurt. The tough girl sighs in annoyance.

Snotlout: I'm in Valhalla!

Astrid: Get away from me, you freak!

Hiccup chuckles at this, although he slightly blushes at the view of Astrid. The girl sees him but becomes disgusted and walks away.

Hiccup: Oh my gods! Her serious look makes my heart melt.

Suddenly, a friend of Hiccup named Fishlegs appears beside him.

Fishlegs: Hey there, Hiccup! Did you find that dragon you shot down?

The brown-haired boy widened at his question, but he sucked it up before answering.

Hiccup: Nah! It was just some grouchy bird who couldn't even fly straight. So I let it go.

Fishlegs: Well that's too bad. But you better be prepared for the dragon fighting! Your dad just signed you up on that!

Hiccup: He WHAAT!?

In the chieftain's house, Hiccup is having a discussion with his father.

Hiccup: Why did you do that without telling me!?

Stoick: Ye always wanted this, son. Now ye have it! Don't tell me that you lack the guts to fight in the arena! Show us what you got!

Hiccup: Yeah…but…

Stoick: No buts, Hiccup! Is that a deal?

Hiccup: Deal…..thanks by the way.

Stoick: Well I better get going! The search for the dragon's nest starts now. See you in a few days, boy.

As Stoick leaves the house, Hiccup briefly murmurs by himself.

Hiccup: Could this get any worse?

Next day at the arena, Hiccup is almost killed by a Gronckle, until Gobber intervenes and locks up the dragon. Once the training's over, most people speak trash about Hiccup. Gobber decides to have a little chat with the boy.

Tuffnut: What's the point of participating when you can't even lift your own axe!?

Ruffnut: Sucks to be you!

Gobber: You must not underestimate a dragon, Hiccup. Most of them will kill you if they get the chance!

Back in the forest, Hiccup is picking up Spyro's trail. He finds the dragon by a lake.

Hiccup: Hey there, unknown, short-tempered dragon! Remember me?

Spyro: Yeah I remember you. You're that annoying freak I chose not to kill yesterday. Why are you here?

Hiccup: Ehhhh….I just wanted to ask you a question…if that's okay with you.

Spyro: Well, spit it out! I ain't got all day!

Hiccup: Where are you from? For some reason, I think of you as you don't come from this world.

The young dragon widens at that.

Spyro: You're right! I actually came to this world by a portal. On its getaway it stood: THE WORLD OF THICK-BEARDED FATASSES

Hiccup: Oooookay…..but we Vikings are not necessarily…what did you call us?

Spyro: Just forget about for now. I just read what stood at the getaway. But anyway, after going through the portal, I ended up flying towards your village. I saw it was being attacked so I thought to myself if I should help you.

Hiccup: Let me guess: my invention technically prevented you from helping us, right?

Spyro: Case in point.

Hiccup: But even if you did try to help us, my people would just try to kill you. You see, we have a major problem with dragons.

Spyro: Oh no! Don't tell me Ripto has taken over your world as well!

Hiccup: Who in Thor's name is that?

Spyro: Nothing, I was just talking to myself. But listen: I need to get back to my world. In order for me to do that, I must help your people somehow.

Hiccup: But how are you gonna help us? My people hate your kind.

Spyro: What if I just helped you? Think about something you truly desire the most.

This hits the young boy's head like a hammer. He suddenly has an idea and starts whispering to the little dragon about it. He listens, but becomes outraged afterwards.

Spyro: ARE YOU SERIOUS!?

Hiccup: Come on, it will work! And believe me; we will have a good time together!

Spyro thinks about this for a moment. Sighing in defeat, he agrees to Hiccup's terms.

Spyro: Why me? This better be quick!

Hiccup is trying to actually fly on Spyro. This is really difficult for the young dragon, given the fact that he's not necessarily strong enough to carry a human. But the young Viking however, has so much fun flying in the skies.

Hiccup: YEAAAAAHHHHHHH! THIS IS SO FUN! FLY HIGHER, SPYRO!

Spyro: I….can't do that…with my body! You sure weigh a lot….for being so scrawny!

Hiccup: Shut the f**k up, flame breath! You're jealous!

All of a sudden, Spyro gets a cramp on his neck and this makes him howling in agony. The duo eventually dives towards the ground, much to Hiccup's excitement.

Hiccup: WHOOOOOHOOO! WE'RE GOING DOWN!

Unfortunately they crash towards a cliff, where they are unable to steer through due to….well Hiccup's inability to steer Spyro.

_To be continued…._

* * *

**Author's note: This was chapter 7. Lots of dragons here, well expect that Toothless was not present.**

**How to Train Your Dragon belongs to DreamWorks Animation**

**Spyro the Dragon belongs to Sony/Universal **


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: This is what I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. I will try to go where Seth and his team haven't. This series was created by Seth Green**

**Chapter 8: Judge Judy: Griffins vs Smiths **

You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Judith Shiendlin. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final. This is Judge Judy.

Tonight we have a very special case. It's actually between two sitcom families who are funny, but lack originality. What will be the outcome of this case? Let's have a look!

Byrd: All parties in the matter of Griffin vs Smith! Step forward please!

Peter Griffin and his wife Lois are suing fellow party attendants Stan Smith and his wife Francine for medical bills and a false arrest. The Griffins say: Stan threw an empty bottle at Peter in a drunken rage. The Smiths are countersuing for medical bills, vandalism and harassment.

The judge arrives at her seat and the case is about to begin. Judy has a little chat with Officer Byrd.

Byrd: This case is number 555 on the calendar in the matter: Griffin vs Smith.

Judy: Thank you

Byrd: You're welcome. (Eyes the audience) Parties have been sworn in. You may be seated. Folks, have a seat.

The audience takes their seat. The plaintiffs are Peter Griffin and his wife Lois. Sitting by their side is their children Meg, Chris and Stewie, as well as their talking dog Brian. The defendants are Stan Smith and his wife Francine. Sitting by their side is their children Hayley and Steve, as well as the alien called Roger (in a disguise off course). Most of their other witnesses are currently sitting backstage.

Judy: Mr. Griffin this gentleman over there is a fellow party attendant. Now let me get this straight. You and your family were invited to a party which was hosted by an old friend of yours, correct?

Peter: Eh yes ma'am!

Judy: Mr. Smith and his family were also invited to this party. (Eyes Stan) Is that correct, sir?

Stan: Yes, your honor!

Judy: You two didn't know each other from before. You first met each other on this party, right?

Peter and Stan: Correct!

Judy: Okay. Now Mr. Griffin, this lawsuit of yours alleges that during midnight at the party, Mr. Smith assaulted you while you were trying to break up a fight between your wife and this lady over there (points at Francine). But you had been drinking, so it's safe to say that both of you were drunk during that time.

Peter: Ummmmm…I didn't necessarily drink that much. I just drank a few mugs of Pawtucket Patriot beer.

Judy: Yes and by doing so, you were drunk! That goes for you as well Mr. Smith, because I've read your answer. You didn't drink beer, but you were also drunk.

Stan: Yes, but I didn't drink any alcohol, your honor. I just took a few bottles of Portuguese wine. It's not as bad as Pawtucket Patriot….

Judy: But you were also drunk! Listen carefully, Mr. Smith! We both know that wine is also alcohol. It doesn't really matter if it's Portuguese, French, Italian, Argentine or even Thai wine. Drinking much of it can make you intoxicated!

Stan: Yes, but…

Judy: That's enough, Mr. Smith! You may not have realized this, but I'm much smarter than any dumb and clueless workers at CIA. I expected at least someone like you to realize it before you came to this courtroom.

The whole audience laughs while Stan slowly bows his head in shame. Francine tries to comfort him. Meanwhile, Peter is briefly laughing, but he is stopped by Lois.

Lois: Peter, not now!

Judy: Anyway Mr. Griffin, this alleged assault left you with serious injuries, including your left eye and arm and you wanna be compensated for that. Also you claim that you were falsely arrested for vandalism and you are suing for the days spent in prison, which I will get to as the case progresses.

Peter: Yeah! And just one more thing, your honor: the prison I was sent to reeked of puke and poop! And it took me freaking 6 months to bail me out of that place! I demand some extra dollars for that experience!

The audience laughs at him while the judge grimaces disappointingly.

Judy: I could care less about your days in prison, Mr. Griffin! The only thing that's important is if your arrest was legitimate or not!

Lois: Your honor! Please excuse us for this, this is Peter's second time suing someone so…

Judy: Well that is indeed remarkable, Mrs. Griffin. But let's see here what the defendants are saying in their answer. Mr. Smith says that it was you Mr. Griffin who started this altercation after you made an insult to his wife.

Peter: Yeah, because she was constantly harassing my wife, that is!

Judy: As we go further, they also say that you allegedly vandalized their vehicle by….oh God this is just too embarrassing to tell this on television….but you damaged the car with a baseball bat while the Smiths were inside. And then….you began peeing and pooping at the car's frontal window. Is that what you are saying, Mr. Smith?

Stan: Yes ma'am!

Judy: But if you were drunk….who was driving the vehicle?

Francine: I was your honor!

Judy: Okay! So the Smiths are suing for damages to their car and they want you to fix it! Also the Smiths are countersuing for harassment which I will get to later, but right now, let's start from the beginning! And we'll start with the Griffins. Now, what was this party you and your family were invited to, Mr. Griffin?

Peter: Ummmmm…

Judy: Um is not an answer! You do remember the host's name, right?

Peter: Oh, his name was Cleveland Brown. He used to live with us back in Quahog and…

Judy: Don't lose your track! What was this party about, Mrs. Griffin?

Lois: We were actually invited to Cleveland's birthday party. He had invited lots of families he knew over at his house. We were invited because he used to live at our neighborhood. So we were going to visit him and his family.

Judy: Okay. Now where does this Cleveland Brown live?

Lois: He lives in Stoolbend, Virginia.

Judy: I see. Now Mr. Griffin, you mentioned something about Quahog. Is that where you and your family live?

Peter: Yes ma'am!

Judy: And which state is Quahog located in?

Pete: Weeeelll…..I think its Maryland.

Judy: What do you mean by you think? You are living there! How can I trust with what you're telling me if you can't even remember where you usually sleep, eat or watching television?

The whole audience laughs again. Lois rises up her arm.

Judy: (Sighs irritated) In which state is Quahog, Mrs. Griffin?

Lois: It's in Rhode Island, ma'am

Judy: Well, at least your wife is more reliable than you, Mr. Griffin. New let's move on! How did you travel to Stoolbend, Virginia?

Peter: We drove by car.

Judy: What was the date of this birthday party?

Peter: It was august the 13th 2014. But we arrived at Stoolbend days earlier, so we slept at their house.

Judy: Okay. Now let's get to the party! When did it start?

Peter: It started around 7 o clock.

Judy: And this incident happened around midnight?

Peter: Yes ma'am.

Judy: Okay and you had been drinking. So I'm gonna ask both you and you wife to tell me about how this happened. (notices Brian sitting) Who's the dog?

Peter: Oh that's our dog.

Judy: And what's his name?

Before Peter can answer, Brian speaks up with his normal voice, making Judy amazed.

Brian: I'm Brian Griffin and I live with them.

Judy: Were you witnessing this altercation between those two immature grown-ups?

Brian: Yes ma'am!

Judy: (to Byrd) I like him already! Stand up, please!

Brian walks over to the couple and finds a stool where he can stand tall enough for Judy to notice him.

Judy: Okay…Brian. About midnight, were Mr. Griffin drinking?

Brian: Yes ma'am!

Judy: And what was his wife doing?

Brian: She was having a conversation with that blonde chick over there.

Judy: Is that true, Mrs. Smith?

Francine: So far, yes.

Judy: Okay. Now Mrs. Griffin, how was your conversation with this lady over there?

Lois: Oh we were just talking friendly to each other! It had been many years since we had seen each other and…

Judy: So your husband and Mr. Smith didn't know each other from before, but you and she did?

Lois: Yes….actually.

Judy: How do you two know each other, Mrs. Smith?

Francine: Uh…I hate to be rude your honor….but it's a little bit embarrassing to say this in court.

Judy: What do you mean by that? Were you both working in a drug cartel or something?

The audience laughs at this.

Lois and Francine: No!

Judy: Then just tell me: how did you two know each other?

Realizing it's pointless to resist, both mothers take deep breathes. Lois answers first.

Lois: We used to work together in a porno studio, when we were younger. But once the studio went into bankruptcy, we went separate ways.

The whole audience whistles in surprise at her answers. Some even find this fact interesting. Both Lois and Francine blushes in embarrassment at this. Stan and Peter meanwhile watch their respective wives with absolutely surprised faces. The same goes for their witnesses. Judy sighs annoyed.

Judy: Oh my God! Not only do I have to deal with two idiots, but two MILFs as well! This better be good. Anyway, what was the conversation about Mrs. Former MILF?

Lois: Oh the usual stuff! Motherhood, marriage and all other things related to our personal lives. But once we spoke about our husbands, things started to get ugly.

Judy: And what do you mean by that?

Lois: Well, once she got a glimpse of Peter, she started to trash-talk him.

Francine shakes her head in disbelief. She is not amused by Lois's explanation.

Judy: And what was your husband doing while you were watching him? Was he drinking?

Lois: Yes ma'am!

Judy: So he was drunk. Because that's what you say in your complaint. When you spoke about your husbands, they were both drinking. Don't you agree, Brian?

Brian: Yes, your honor! I don't deny it.

Judy: Very clever! Now what kind of words did Mrs. Smith say about your husband, Mrs. Griffin?

Lois: She said something like: "Whoa!" and "Who's the fatass with the glasses?". I then hit back at Francine, telling her not to judge people by their weight and appearance. And we kept bickering with each other until Peter came over to us.

Judge: So you two ladies were arguing and it went on until Mr. Griffin approached you. Now Mr. Griffin, what did you say to this lady over there?

Peter: I said…"what's your problem, lady?" "Leave my wife alone!"

Francine continues shaking her head. Stan glares at Peter with irritation.

Judy: And then what happened?

Peter: Francine flipped me off and said very mean words to me. I was about to tell her to stop until someone banged my head from behind.

Judy: You didn't see who it was, right?

Peter: Well….yeah, but once I fell on the ground, I immediately turned around to see who it was. And Stan stood there with an empty bottle in his left hand.

Judy: (to Brian) Was Mr. Smith the one who banged this idiot's head, sir?

Brian: Yes ma'am!

Stan shakes his head and raises his hand in order to be given the word, but Judy turns him down.

Judy: Don't worry Mr. Smith! I will get to your version as soon as possible. So just zip it for now.

Stan grumbles while glaring at their adversaries.

Judy: What did the defendant do to you, while you were lying on the ground, Mr. Griffin?

Peter: The only thing I remember is that he suddenly stomped on my arm. I tried to get him off while struggling with the pain. I pushed Stan to the ground, tried to get up on my feet, but suddenly, a bottle hits me left eye.

Judy: Was Mr. Smith lying on the ground when it happened?

Peter: Yeah! That son of a bitch threw the bottle at my face then!

Judy: Just a minute! When you're in court, profane language is not accepted when describing your story.

Peter: But Lois said such words before I did.

Judy: But the difference there is that….she doesn't say these bad words once speaking to me formally! YOU however, think this is a playground! So watch your language here, mister!

Peter Yes…ma'am.

Judy: Now that I know your version of this story, I want to hear the Smith's version of this story. And we'll start with you, Mrs. Smith. Were your family also invited to this party?

Francine: Yes, your honor!

Judge: And how did you know the Browns?

Francine: Actually my husband had been working with Cleveland from before and…

Judy: Now Mr. Smith, how did you and this Cleveland know each other?

Stan: I once caught him and that fat son of his for speed racing. Originally I intended to report this to the higher authorities but I had a change of heart once Cleveland agreed to do housework in our family home for 12 months. So after this, we kept in touch with each other.

Judy: Okay….what kind of relationship is that? (to Byrd) What do you think of this, Byrd?

Byrd: Sounds kind of messed up.

The whole audience laughs at this, but only for a brief moment.

Judy: Where do you and your family live, Mr. Smith?

Stan: Langley Falls, Virginia.

Judy: Now let's get to the midnight! All I know is that your wife was having a conversation with Mrs. Griffin. (Eyes Francine) So tell me your version of this story, madam!

Francine: Well it's true that we spoke about motherhood and stuff, but we didn't speak about our husbands.

Judy: Then what subject was you discussing that started this little altercation?

Francine: Lois started to call me a slut and claimed that I would have cheated with Stan for some other random guy. But I fought back, claiming she was a way more slut than me.

Judy: So are you telling me that you weren't arguing about your husbands? It was all about….sexual desires?

Francine: Technically yes.

Judy: That's ridiculous! Two grown-up women with pornographic roots start an altercation which eventually ends up being more troublesome! How stupid can you be!? You are mothers and housewives, not teenagers and brats!

Lois: Can I say somethi…

Judy: I'm speaking! And it's best for you to put your listening ears on, madam!

Lois: Right…sorry

Judy: Now just tell me what happened afterwards! I feel like this case's gonna be much easier than I first thought. So Mr. Griffin approached you and he was drunk! Now what did he do?

Francine: He was furious and grabbed my left arm. Then he swung at me so that I fell on the floor. He began cursing at me while getting angrier.

Peter begins crossing his arms while Lois shakes her head. Judy notices this and asks Peter to stop doing that.

Judy: Uncross your arms, Mr. Griffin.

Peter: Why? Got a problem with that?

Brian: (whispers) Peter, you don't stand like this in a court! Just uncross your arms!

Peter uncrosses his arms and Judy continues focusing her attention on Francine.

Judy: And that's when your husband intervened in this fight?

Francine: Yes ma'am! He pushed him to the ground, but then Peter got up and began assaulted back.

Judy: Okay and your husband were also drunk?

Francine: Ehhh…maybe…

Judy: Don't say maybe! I just asked you a question and the answer is either yes or no! So listen carefully, because I've read your answer! Your husband, who had been drinking Portuguese wine, was also drunk, don't you agree?

Francine: Yes ma'am.

Judy: Good! Now let's move over to your injuries, Mr. Smith. Did you throw an empty bottle at Mr. Griffin?

Stan: Yes, but it was in self-defense and….

Judy: I don't care about self-defense! You can't throw an empty bottle at people, because it will cause serious injuries! Now tell me, Mrs. Smith: did Mr. Griffin ever throw something back at your husband?

Francine: Yes! He grabbed a nearby glass and threw it at Stan's face. That's how he got serious injuries around his mouth.

Lois shakes her head in order to deny the allegation.

Judy: Then that settles it! The conflict started when you two ex-porn stars were having a ridiculous bicker and it got worse once your two idiot husbands intervened! And it's a good reason why they got serious injuries!

Lois and Francine: What?

Judy: They were both drunk! And when you're drunk, you cannot control your own actions! That's why I'm dismissing both cases involving that episode! Do you understand!?

Stan and Peter: Yes ma'am.

Judy: Good, and as we move further, I'm beginning to understand why these different cases of yours seem irrelevant to me. Have any of you a police report?

Stan: We have ma'am!

Judy: I'd like to see it please.

Byrd hands the Smiths' police report to the judge's desk. She begins reading it in order to clarify her opinion to both parties.

Judy: Tell me something, Mr. Smith. Were you also arrested by police during midnight?

Stan: Ehhhh…..

Judy: The reason I'm asking you this is because the one who called police during midnight was not you as you say in your answer! It was Cleveland Brown who did that! That means only one thing!

Peter and Stan: What?

Judy: You were both arrested because you were wreaking havoc in his household! There was no act of vandalism! The apprehending of you two morons occurred in the same place your porno wives had started their bickering! (Notices Roger raising his hand) What!?

Roger: Excuse me, your honor but I have proof that Stan Smith's car was vandalized….

Judy: Then show me a picture! And who are you anyway?

Roger: Oh I'm just an old family friend of the Smiths. I also have proof…

Judy: Stand up!

Roger stands beside Stan and Francine. He then gives Byrd a picture for Judy to look at. She is not convinced or amused.

Judy: Do you honestly take me for an idiot? Everyone can see that this fake!

Roger: Shut up! My talents at Photoshop are undiminished you…..

Judy: Then that settles it! Your case is dismissed Griffins and that goes also for you Smiths with regard to your counterclaim! Good bye, idiots and MILFs!

The case ends and the audience give Judy a well-deserved applause for her action. The Griffins and Smiths meanwhile feel both embarrassed and humiliated. Now they realize that they can't surpass the Simpsons.

_To be continued…._

**Author's note: Well, this was the longest chapter yet! I admire Judge Judy and I love how she immediately takes on idiots who appear in the shows. Hope you enjoyed it! **


End file.
